Step 1 --- Tell your buddy he's a retard, and start questioning your friendship with him.
As for a race, it depends if you're at altitude or at the coast, how healthy your VANOS is, what mods, etc...
At the coast, a healthy 330i should outrun a Juke Turbo... at altitude, I'm not so sure.
However, top end, you'll rape him every time - they're limited at 220-ish if I'm not mistaken due to their tyres, and not very aerodynamic at that.
Like any little Q-car, the Juke's are overhyped... they're quick, and they can outrun the odd stock and/or slightly sick GTI... but they're hardly the monsters that owners like to make them out to be, and a well-driven G6 GTI will rape seven shades of hell out of a Juke - but you never hear those stories, only the questionable wins.
Here's an example: My stock 330i with blocked catalytic converters has run neck-and-neck with a 2.0T Audi TT from 60-180 km/h - at altitude. I don't take the result as depicting my 330i's performance though, but rather how sick / poorly maintained / poorly driven the TT must have been, as he should've ass-raped me.
Other okes would be plastering that win all over the place, and then keeping quiet the next time they get man-handled by a properly driven GTI.