A dude in a ford said I had a small dong, so I kicked his ass.

[clutchplate]

So .. I was leisurely driving along the tar road here in despatch today, at around 60km/h, and I passed a green ford cortina bakkie, 2 nice young girls sitting in the back, and a guy and his girlfriend in the front. Neways, as I was driving allong at 190km/h, I stopped off at the Total Garage after picking up some DVD's. So I get out my car and enter the shop, I buy 2 packets of chips, one small packet, to eat on the way home of course, cause I'm hungry as fuck, and one big packet for when I'm watching my DVD's. ok, so I walk back to my car and I notice the green ford cortina bakkie pulls in and stops right nexto my car, the dude gets out, walks towards the wall nexto the garage to take a pee on it, and the girl in the front goes into the store to buy something. So as I get in my car the guy walks back and see's me.. Immediately he then starts pointing at me with a smirk on his face like that bully, shaun, back in primary school, and he makes a hand gesture showing me that I have a small Willy.

I'm shocked at this point, but I've been in this situation before so I start pulling off just trying to ignore the guy, at this stage half the garage customers are staring at me, knowing exactly whats going on, I'm a fairly slender dude, driving a big, powerfull, BMW, and this guys tuning me small willy hand signals.. what are they supposed to think. I GET SO enfuriated that I just wanna grab my gun, and walk upto the dude and say, FUCK YOU, how big is your dick now .. 100's of thoughts going thru my mind at this point I stopped pulling out and I'm standing still in the middle of the garage, staring at this guy .. I'm Angry, but He's a huge oke, and I'm scared of him, but because I'm angry I don't care and I want to beat the shit out of him, pistol whip him, shoot him in the face, kick him in his balls infront of his girls, just because it makes me so angry that everyone thinks bmw drivers drive BMW's to make up for their small manlihood. but I can Assure you, I have a very decent size Willy, I'll show you if I must.. neways, so this aint why I'm angry. I'm angry for every other dude who's been in this situation.. so I'm thinking get out the car and kick his ass, or cower in shame and head home.. so I come to my senses, sort of, realise the guy is obviously allot bigger than me, and I drive off slowly still processing what just happened.

I dunno, Immediately I go onto the internet searching for bruce lee techniques and martial art sites checking moves, I wanna beat this schuck up the next time I see him.. so an hour and half later I'm feeling better about the whole deal, thinking, maybe I should just find his house and burn it, or blow up his car with that spare HMTD I have in storage, or maybe I should shoot him. I dunno.

So, I'm punching air and goo'ing jackey chan comments around my room thinking about what I should do.. I dunno, you guys ever been in this situation before ? I'm a skinny little dude, and I'm tired of people picking on me.. and I mean I can't really shoot that guy, that will cause even more problems. what would you have done ?

atleast I know the fker drives a ford cortina.. shame.

 

[speeddemon]

you''l be surprised to see what u can do when u that angry....adrenalin kicking in all at the same time..and yes size does matter (u said he was a big bloke)ha ha ha ha he probably would have knock the shit out of u but hey he would have had a hard time trying also cuase u pump up on adrenalin but then again u did the smart thing.The better man walks away.
that's why he still drives a cortina

 

[1lum1nat1]

The best advice I ever got from my brothers.


Get him when he leasts expect it. (would have been difficult in this situation). Run to him as fast as you can get some leverage on that elbow & hit him as hard as humanly possible, preferably in the face. He will be fucked over like never before. Guaranteed.

It's always the big ass shmucks that think they the shit. You'll be surprised what an ass whipping some small okes can hand out.

 

[Bmw.wp]

Hey Clutchey :clap: U show that moron u the better guy. anyways even bruce lee would have ignore this asshole. :thinker: damn i would take the gun scare the shit out of him tune him like in lick my bmw 's tyres bru imp: and then turnaround and leaves. :excited:

 

[freerider]

chess anyone? Why do I never find myself in these situations?

 

[jog5000]

Should have slowly backed up to his cortina, spun up the rear wheels, and flung bits of hot rubber and dirt at his bakkie.... and then just disappear off into the sunset at a leasurly cruising speed - somewhere around 200km/h...

 

[zaleonardz]

And I am a big fat overpaid prick with my 7, I got a comment at work the other day "For someobdy driving 2 Bmw's it has to be going better then us plebs"

Meanwhile back at the range, I paid less for both my cars they they would pay for say a Nissan Navara, not my fault their stupid.

And because they are too idiotic to work the system, or have no ambition, of course there has to be something wrong with you, tis natural, cause sure as hell it cant be their fault.

Screw em dude, drive those V8's, if you illustrate more sucsess then somebody else, you are bound to meet some resistance, and the only weapon at their disposal to counter your sucsess is either violence, or stupid comments like that.

What will however make you weak is if you retaliate and respond to the idiot, just get back in your car, set your seat to extra comfy or hard, whatever you prefer, wave as you leave, he is going to be the bigger chop, I promise you

Remember he is going home in a ford, oh there is something else, I have never let a lady ride on the back of a bakkie, I somehow dont think you have either, so who's the better gentleman ?

 

[clutchplate]

lol, speeddemon bro, yeah .. I guess I like my current facial configuration so I left ...

1lum1nat1 .. u also right bro, I've seen small okes kick some serious ass lol, but I aint got no training for it..
I think its time for some JuJitsu and Ninjutsu lessons ...

LoL ! bmw.wp ! thats close to what I had in mind but like, I reckoned, what if the oke is too dumb to be scared of a gun ? and if I shoot him .. then I become the moron. and freerider bro ! haha, its probably cause your bigger than size, measuring in at 9 foot 12 something ? lol, If you told me I'm a dumbass, I'd probably say, ok thanks, your so kind.

jog500, funny enough, I wanted to spin away, but something told me not to :/
LZ, all factual bro, lemming = drive ford, individual = drive bmw. eish.

lol, time for some JuJitsu .. MwEHaHaHaha.

 

[1lum1nat1]

LOL dude, I'm not saying violence is the answer, but sometimes thats just what that meathead needs. (the court never seem to feel the same way though)

Take my fiance as an example. She's got a brown belt in karate as well,got provincial colours for fighting etc. but that means jack all. Most of the guys doing some sort of martial arts are the bigest panzies.

I got my purple belt when I was still fairly young & stopped doing karate for a few years. When I met my fiance I started at a new dojo from scratch. There was this big as mofo, he had a black belt 2nd dan in some or other style & already had his brown belt in shukukai (the style I was doing then). This oke broke two of my future father in law's ribs in a "practice" fight.

I was there for a month & the sensei thought why not put the white belt against this monster (pretty retarded of him, but I did'nt complain). This guy was like a brick wall, & as thick as a log. Always gunning for my face, but the nimble little piece of shit that I am never got touched once. This oke had his hands full & was slow as fuck, but chances are if he got one hit in I was mince meat.

Doing some sort of martial arts won't necessarily make you a fighter, but it's great fun. Very good physical exercise & it makes you mentally stronger as well. I don't have the time for it anymore, but I'll encourage anyone who wants to try it.

 

[Hellas]

Rip off his shirt pocket...then his mom will beat him...

 

[Bmw.wp]

I think jog5000 advice are the best. climb in the bmw close the windows and makes some dust all over him and his bakkie and his gals. lesson 1 for the gals don't drive with a moron with a ford bakkie... whose trying to be a moerse oke. lesson 2 for the asshole. dont try your shit with a bmw owner cause u never knew whats waiting for you....imp:

 

[calypso]

Crap one, dunno what I would do, probably just start tuning the dutchmen broken.

 

[freerider]

:rofl: @ HELLAS, my mother would have klapped me broken.

 

[Twinz]

Good decision clutchplate...:thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[1lum1nat1]

Well, Despatch are known for this.

We once went to play rugby against Despatch high school. There stopped a kombi with a bunch of woman in it & a few guys. The "ladies" climbed out & squatted right there & then & from a distance looked like they were trying to piss a stick figure man on the tar. Great fun I say. :shocked:

 

[andrewbuch]

CP rather walk away.. its not worth the effort, and you know who the better person is in the situation.. And of course the girl sitting next to him was probably his sister and the mother of his 2 children that were sitting in the back..

 

[clutchplate]

1lum1nat1, bro, I think I wanna do it, but I'm interested in JKD, like learning different styles and adapting them. It sounds really fun... will maybe do that. will hopefully teach me some discipline to not get so mad also. But I reckon some fighting skills is a good thing to have in SA in anycase, I dunno. lol, but your 100% correct about despatch, this place is DODGE!! seriously.. my mom stays here, I tuned her .. time to move, NOW. so we gonna go look at some places in walmer and bluewaterbay tommorow and see what its like.

LMAO HELLAS !! that's a funny thought ..

but bmw.wp your right bro, lol, ppl musn't tune bmw drivers, you never know what the punk is about to do.

 

[Imran]

Dude, you should have walked up to him and showed him ur dick, then pissed on his cortina for good measure. and its usually the big okes who have small weiners, you could have showed his chick what she's missing. he is bitter because he doesnt have an inkling of class and that was proven by him milking his lizard against a freakin wall. pay no attention to fuckers like that, they arent even worth the effort. nobodies do funny things for attention!:thumbsup:

---

and if there are any capetonians here who would like to learn some jiujitsu, send me a PM

 

[clutchplate]

yea, andrew your right bro :/ .. prolly just better to leave it hey. I'm not a violent person, but I get tuned ALLOT in my car, and I mean ALLOT. its not so fun anymore .. half the people cheer me on cause of the exhaust, the other people tune me lank kak. mar nou ja, maybe I should put my stock exhaust back.

---

LOL Imran ! nextime, I was SOOO tempted bro. but then again, it would be lowclass too

 

[sykotic]

hey im also a small size guy!! so i know wats its like to be picked on...
i was driving along home when a guy scrawls in the right lane with his chick. so i flash him and when he moves, i go on my way. so at the robots he pulls up behind me and next thing i see, this big mother fucker comes up to me (my window was open already) and starts swearn at me.... so i wait for him to finish. i apologized cause it was my fault... but then he still swears me :dropjaw: so he walks away... i reach for my teargas, reverse a bit to get his attention, give him a good spray form my car... he just gets in his car and carrys on slowly :hammerhead:
best thing to do is carry teargas, like pepper spray and give him a spray. but guys, if its your fault, be the bigger man n just leave. thats what i normally do. some guys just look for cheap trouble and they get a bit crazy... pull out guns in the heat of the moment n stuff.. so just be careful guys!! avoid shit like that whenever you can