Ouch ok, I'm in Benoni.
If there's no one that can help closer to you, you might have to get the car on a flatbed to me. This does sound like the ecu has given up the ghost but I'll have to see the car first to confirm.
Any signs of water damage if you open the ecu box?
Edit: come to think of it now, I had a similar issue a few weeks back and it ended up a faulty starter. Exact same symptoms.
Problem is that this starter replacement isn't a DIY because of where it sits in the engine. Reading the fault codes will confirm this before the expense.