I have also read about all of the warnings with regards to changing the oil in the gearbox if there are already issues.
I believe oil changes to auto boxes are what oil changes are to an engine : you do it as a preventative measure, to maintain and protect the parts to ensure proper functioning. If the damage is done, it's done. Oil can't repair damage, but some fresh oil might prevent further damage.
That being said, I think it is necessary to distinguish between an oil change and a flush. An oil change is only replacing what you can drain from the gearbox sump, while a flush is a total oil change (sump and converter). From my reading, most of the issues experienced after an oil change stems from a gearbox flush where all the oil was replaced.
I think these auto boxes can definitely have varying degrees of damage. They read a value and compare it, so it can be 3% out of spec or 15%. I suspect there is a threshold value for recommending a service or rebuild, but I have no idea what the threshold is.
How close/far a gearbox is from spec values probably plays a big role in how the gearbox will be affected by an oil change/flush.
I did an oil change (about 5 liters) by myself in December last year without having the values read. The gearbox is still fine, shifts are also still the same. However, I didn't have issues prior to the oil change - no jerky shifts, no slips, no gear selection issues. The oil inside still had a brown tint to it, it wasn't completely black and burnt. These are the factors I took into account before going ahead with the oil change. I didn't have issues and I want to keep it that way by doing a preventative oil change.
You'll know better than us what your gearbox is doing or not doing, but an oil service will not reverse any issues/damage.
It does sound like you are in doubt about your gearbox being 100% - in that case just leave it until it gets worse and you can't hold off a rebuild any longer.