The itch for something more...does it end?

[DRCraig]

Good day fanatics

I just need some advice from the experienced folks.

Currently, I own two 320d's- '13 F30 and '11 E90. My wife uses the F30 for her daily commute. The E90 runs some software and goes really really well, never skipped a beat, but all I think about is owning a 330d. Like everyday. Why? Simply because it sounds better and has a more powerful engine. And the 30d badge just looks better than a 20d badge.

Now, I've read a bit up on 'arrival fallacy' where something worth achieving seems fulfulling, until you achieve it, then thinking of what's next. Just goal after goal. Until you reach a dead-end. Like chasing wind.


Personally, the 330d, be it E90 LCI or F30, is all the car I ever want in this life. And I can actually afford it comfortably at this point in time. I am almost 30, so I am just a bit concerned that, a few years down the line I am going to get use to a 330d, and then the cycle starts all over again. Will I then again feel the urge to purchase something 'bigger and better'.

From a tender age, I've been dreaming about owning a BMW, so I am extremely blessed and greatful to be able to own two BMW's. Should I let the ship of a 330d sail, for a while, and purchase it at a later stage in my life?

Thanks

 

[TurboLlew]

Later on in your life you will likely want different things. Get your 330d and enjoy.

It is not about the arrival fallacy in these instances. Once you have something your hedonic setpoint changes and you end up rebasing your view of the world and what your new normal is. Read up on some of these things (Hedonic Set Point and Treadmill). THAT is what you are more talking about than the arrival fallacy.

What gets you there depends on what drives you as a person. A few illustrative things (only IMHO)

When people talk about the problems with social media this is also one of them (and this is a whole can of worms because people don't like hearing this): There are people that (even on this forum) unironically ask me what is next with my F90 because they are conditioned to believe that there must always be something more or new or next. This is one of the most extreme examples of both living vicariously through others and the relentless drive to push in an unhealthy or dysfunctional way. Unable to meet these needs themselves, they are now taking a satisfied person and trying to satisfy their own 'subconscious' 'need for the next' onto them.

The side effect of all of this is that nobody who does a big thing in their life feels it is big anymore because some person they don't even really know or who matters in their lives already had something better. There was a dude who bought a Polo in one of the groups (I may have shared this before elsewhere). We were all excited for him. Asked why he didn't say anything til we met up? It was cos he didn't think we would care because of what cars we had. That is absolutely HORRIBLE but an example of how our achievements feel like nothing because our perception these days of what success looks like is based on the belief that everyone is living like what a tiny fraction of a percent of people live like. Comparison is really the thief of joy.

Even though it is something they may never have, that ability to live vicariously and feel artificially close to others makes some feel that they are 'owed' something... not material but in the form of a 'remote' dopamine hit from the other person's 'next', be it a car or item of clothing or house or even things like kids or dogs. People who feel they have 'access' will want to see what's next.

If you are a car person there is merit in many things be they newer or classics or faster or more characterful etc. These can add to the overall joy you experience in your life (rinse and repeat for people collecting toys or gaming or playing sports etc... we all have different poisons. You getting that ultra rare trading card or a car in your perfect spec or something that little boy from 20 years ago dreamed about... This is a positive thing in your life and I've written all this to hopefully show you that you sound like you are VERY far away from the toxic side of these things (again IMHO).

It is different to those who view achieving certain 'bucket list' items as artifacts of their arrival at a certain point in their lives, a certain goal or checkpoint they (or others) have set for them etc. This is where the arrival fallacy kicks in IMHO... where you are chasing the next... If you are doing this, I hate to break it to you but you will be a very unhappy human being for your entire life or at least until you face and address what is driving that for you. You will get the dopamine hit from the level, realise that it's just now 'normal' for you or if anything it is rubbish and that will either (IMHO) greatly distress and disappoint you.

Neither of these VERY different, yet externally or visibly similar forces stop... but one of them is healthy and the other IMHO can be destructive.

Take all the above with a pinch of salt - people have wildly different opinions on this.

 

[VinceM]

Change is part of life. Seasons change. Our needs / wants change / evolve.

If you strongly like the 330d, can afford it, go for it! Enjoy it for what it is.

In a few years time, you might still be content with it or you might want something else, nothing wrong!

On arrival fallacy, there is an artist who shared these 3 golden nuggets:

1) Surround yourself with peoples whose eyes light up when they see you

2) Slowly is the fastest way to where you want to be

3) The top of one mountain is the bottom of the next, keep climbing

The first two are not relevant for this post, the last one think so……no arriving! we just keep going.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

 

[maleven-GP]

No regrets with a 330d.. had the e90 for over 3 years now, couldn't be happier.. Best all-rounder

 

[///M Individual]

Go for it bud! Try for the F30 if you can.

With my wife having the F25 30d and my F30 20d (both with software and DP), I am really happy with the combo.

 

[Gordvisr]

Life is short bud, if you are in a comfy position to buy the 330D then go for it. The time will come when ou wat to move over to the next, then jump to it again.

 

[Peter@AEW]

Later on in your life you will likely want different things. Get your 330d and enjoy.

It is not about the arrival fallacy in these instances. Once you have something your hedonic setpoint changes and you end up rebasing your view of the world and what your new normal is. Read up on some of these things (Hedonic Set Point and Treadmill). THAT is what you are more talking about than the arrival fallacy.

What gets you there depends on what drives you as a person. A few illustrative things (only IMHO)

When people talk about the problems with social media this is also one of them (and this is a whole can of worms because people don't like hearing this): There are people that (even on this forum) unironically ask me what is next with my F90 because they are conditioned to believe that there must always be something more or new or next. This is one of the most extreme examples of both living vicariously through others and the relentless drive to push in an unhealthy or dysfunctional way. Unable to meet these needs themselves, they are now taking a satisfied person and trying to satisfy their own 'subconscious' 'need for the next' onto them.

The side effect of all of this is that nobody who does a big thing in their life feels it is big anymore because some person they don't even really know or who matters in their lives already had something better. There was a dude who bought a Polo in one of the groups (I may have shared this before elsewhere). We were all excited for him. Asked why he didn't say anything til we met up? It was cos he didn't think we would care because of what cars we had. That is absolutely HORRIBLE but an example of how our achievements feel like nothing because our perception these days of what success looks like is based on the belief that everyone is living like what a tiny fraction of a percent of people live like. Comparison is really the thief of joy.

Even though it is something they may never have, that ability to live vicariously and feel artificially close to others makes some feel that they are 'owed' something... not material but in the form of a 'remote' dopamine hit from the other person's 'next', be it a car or item of clothing or house or even things like kids or dogs. People who feel they have 'access' will want to see what's next.

If you are a car person there is merit in many things be they newer or classics or faster or more characterful etc. These can add to the overall joy you experience in your life (rinse and repeat for people collecting toys or gaming or playing sports etc... we all have different poisons. You getting that ultra rare trading card or a car in your perfect spec or something that little boy from 20 years ago dreamed about... This is a positive thing in your life and I've written all this to hopefully show you that you sound like you are VERY far away from the toxic side of these things (again IMHO).

It is different to those who view achieving certain 'bucket list' items as artifacts of their arrival at a certain point in their lives, a certain goal or checkpoint they (or others) have set for them etc. This is where the arrival fallacy kicks in IMHO... where you are chasing the next... If you are doing this, I hate to break it to you but you will be a very unhappy human being for your entire life or at least until you face and address what is driving that for you. You will get the dopamine hit from the level, realise that it's just now 'normal' for you or if anything it is rubbish and that will either (IMHO) greatly distress and disappoint you.

Neither of these VERY different, yet externally or visibly similar forces stop... but one of them is healthy and the other IMHO can be destructive.

Take all the above with a pinch of salt - people have wildly different opinions on this.

A most considered response worth reading over and remembering.

 

[DRCraig]

Later on in your life you will likely want different things. Get your 330d and enjoy.

It is not about the arrival fallacy in these instances. Once you have something your hedonic setpoint changes and you end up rebasing your view of the world and what your new normal is. Read up on some of these things (Hedonic Set Point and Treadmill). THAT is what you are more talking about than the arrival fallacy.

What gets you there depends on what drives you as a person. A few illustrative things (only IMHO)

When people talk about the problems with social media this is also one of them (and this is a whole can of worms because people don't like hearing this): There are people that (even on this forum) unironically ask me what is next with my F90 because they are conditioned to believe that there must always be something more or new or next. This is one of the most extreme examples of both living vicariously through others and the relentless drive to push in an unhealthy or dysfunctional way. Unable to meet these needs themselves, they are now taking a satisfied person and trying to satisfy their own 'subconscious' 'need for the next' onto them.

The side effect of all of this is that nobody who does a big thing in their life feels it is big anymore because some person they don't even really know or who matters in their lives already had something better. There was a dude who bought a Polo in one of the groups (I may have shared this before elsewhere). We were all excited for him. Asked why he didn't say anything til we met up? It was cos he didn't think we would care because of what cars we had. That is absolutely HORRIBLE but an example of how our achievements feel like nothing because our perception these days of what success looks like is based on the belief that everyone is living like what a tiny fraction of a percent of people live like. Comparison is really the thief of joy.

Even though it is something they may never have, that ability to live vicariously and feel artificially close to others makes some feel that they are 'owed' something... not material but in the form of a 'remote' dopamine hit from the other person's 'next', be it a car or item of clothing or house or even things like kids or dogs. People who feel they have 'access' will want to see what's next.

If you are a car person there is merit in many things be they newer or classics or faster or more characterful etc. These can add to the overall joy you experience in your life (rinse and repeat for people collecting toys or gaming or playing sports etc... we all have different poisons. You getting that ultra rare trading card or a car in your perfect spec or something that little boy from 20 years ago dreamed about... This is a positive thing in your life and I've written all this to hopefully show you that you sound like you are VERY far away from the toxic side of these things (again IMHO).

It is different to those who view achieving certain 'bucket list' items as artifacts of their arrival at a certain point in their lives, a certain goal or checkpoint they (or others) have set for them etc. This is where the arrival fallacy kicks in IMHO... where you are chasing the next... If you are doing this, I hate to break it to you but you will be a very unhappy human being for your entire life or at least until you face and address what is driving that for you. You will get the dopamine hit from the level, realise that it's just now 'normal' for you or if anything it is rubbish and that will either (IMHO) greatly distress and disappoint you.

Neither of these VERY different, yet externally or visibly similar forces stop... but one of them is healthy and the other IMHO can be destructive.

Take all the above with a pinch of salt - people have wildly different opinions on this.

Llew, phew, thanks for taking time out to shed some sound advice. The sense in what you said really makes one look a bit differently at one's accomplishments and that of others. Happiness starts at home.

 

[DRCraig]

Change is part of life. Seasons change. Our needs / wants change / evolve.

If you strongly like the 330d, can afford it, go for it! Enjoy it for what it is.

In a few years time, you might still be content with it or you might want something else, nothing wrong!

On arrival fallacy, there is an artist who shared these 3 golden nuggets:

1) Surround yourself with peoples whose eyes light up when they see you

2) Slowly is the fastest way to where you want to be

3) The top of one mountain is the bottom of the next, keep climbing

The first two are not relevant for this post, the last one think so……no arriving! we just keep going.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Have to agree on this. As one ages, needs and wants evolves. Life is short. Thanks bud.

 

[DRCraig]

No regrets with a 330d.. had the e90 for over 3 years now, couldn't be happier.. Best all-rounder

Thanks👌

 

[DRCraig]

Go for it bud! Try for the F30 if you can.

With my wife having the F25 30d and my F30 20d (both with software and DP), I am really happy with the combo.

×2 F30's in the garage sounds like a plan😁

 

[DRCraig]

Life is short bud, if you are in a comfy position to buy the 330D then go for it. The time will come when ou wat to move over to the next, then jump to it again.

For now, at least, the 30d is my end-game 🫣

 

[DRCraig]

A most considered response worth reading over and remembering.

All advice noted. Thanks bud

 

[Sabretooth tiger]

You only live once. If you can afford it then go for it.

 

[DRCraig]

You only live once. If you can afford it then go for it.

That seems to be the consensus. Thanks bud

 

[NtandoN]

One of the best all rounders I ever owned was the 330d. As others have said go for it!

 

[Schalk94]

I would say get the 30d and enjoy it. I owned my 330d E90 for 7 years and loved every minute of owning it.

The 30d's hold their value so well and it's such an amazing package,that I reckon it should scratch your itch for many years to come.

 

[momo1]

Funny enough I had the same itch in 2017 after turning 30, sold the E90 320d to my bro and got the F30 330d, wasn't necessary as the E90 at the time was still fresh with lowish miles and paid up but i really wanted the 330d, I've since been on some amazing road trips and adventures with it and don't regret that decision at all. now 7 years later i do have an itch for a G01 30d but I'm still finding it hard to say bye to the F30 rn. everytime i driver her it just feels right, who knows what the future will hold but currently content with the F30 330d.

 

[Kyle]

If you look at my car history, no, it never ends

As stated above, as long as you're doing it for the right reasons there's no issues with treating yourself (within reason of course). I have learned recently that you can't scratch every itch, even if you have the means to do so. Part of maturing I suppose.

I now regret selling my 330d, but then that's valid for most of the fun cars I've owned.

Buy the 330d and enjoy it... It's definitely an epic daily.

 

[Naruto]

The itch never dies hehehe
Pull the trigger on the 30d, you'll get used to it and move on again